Katie's Game

Yesterday Katie came to me with the idea to make a game. She decided a Scooby Doo game would be cool. We figured out what she needed and found some stuff around the house to make it. She even wrote an instruction page. She made Scooby Snack cards (they are like the life tiles you get in the game of Life). It was cute so see her get excited about the game. We played it for Family Home Evening. It was a fun little game. Even Johnny sat through the whole game.
Billy is sick. He threw up last night but hasn't since which is nice. He played most of the morning but then he started getting a feverin the afternoon so gave his some medicine. I hope he feels better soon.

Feelings

So last night I got an email from one of my volunteers. It wasn't a very nice email. Lots of negativity about the frg and what I have and havn't done. Some of it was true (I am not the most organized and haven't sent emails out as good as I could have) but other things had reasons behind them that she hasn't even tried to talk to me about. She complained that since Monica left no t-shirts have been sold. I feel like this is such a trivial thing. I know that I will never be as good as Monica was in keeping facebook up and having t-shirt fundraisers. I am ok with that but it still hurts that someone else feels that you are failing. For all that is happened since the beginning of deployment, I feet shirts take a back seat burner. We have lost four soldiers and have had a couple injured. Todd has been very sick (enough to get medivaced) in November, and two of my ex volunteers have lost siblings. My whole look on life had changed. Family has become so much more inmportant to me. Life can be short. Todd could die. more of his soldiers could. Soldiers who I have met and have gotten to know their families. It is scary! who cares that shirts haven't been sold for three months?
I have never done anything oon purpose to exclude anyone (and it is usually the ones that need it or have a soldier killed that I have gotten info wrong). I had two reasons for telling Todd that I would be the frg leader. one was because I wanted to help Todd and I really wanted to help the families. And I really like being able to help them it is just lately I feel like I am not qualified enough. I an not organized enough and I am vey bad at remembering to call people. I have tried so hard to stay organized. My heart is so in it but i feel like my body is failing. And now besides my new co leader I have been trying to do every job. I have lost almost all my volunteers. Some to their soldiers getting attached to other companies and some to them heading back home during deployment. And then a couple of others because of their own issues with the frg or with the company. And now we are fianlly dealing with spouses with injuries and I feel so stretched thin. If it wasn't for Lori (my new co-leader) I don't know if I would be able to get through it. She has taken over the rosters which is such a sigh of relief for me.

So the whole reason I started writing this is that is hurts when others critisize you or say you aren't good enough. Especially for things that are close to the truth but also for the stuff that aren't acurate and if the person just asked they would find out why things are the way they are. It has made me think alot today how it is so important that I don't ever do it to someone else. It is so easy to talk negatively about our FRSA and I am guilty. And it isn't right. I should never had said anything negative about her to others. Even if some of the things may be true it automaticly makes them look bad in the other person's eye. Why do we do it? Why do we talk about others so freely? Does it make us feel better about ourselve? Or do we just want to gain more friends and think that this is the way? Or do we feel like it will take our frusteration away (well it doesn't! i think it only makes us more frusterated!) I think it is sad and I hope in the future I won't say anything bad about another person. It hurts! the emotions that I have felt during this deplyment are crazy! I can't wait to go back to normal (for us) life and less drama! I am very grateful to Todd. He wrote a very nice email to me and I needed that!

Billy's First Lost Tooth

A couple of months ago I noticed one of Billy's teeth was loose. It wasn't one of the middle four so i new something wasn't right. Amd the more days that went by the more it looked like it was pushing up into him gums. He had a dentist appointment already so I just waited for it. (all the kids are cavity free :):) The roots of the tooth are pretty much gone. He went in a few days after the appointment to get it pulled out. He is such a tough guy. Didn't even phase him. He was excited for the tooth fairy to come. He put it under his pillow. I didn't forget to put money under (I did once for one of Katie's teeth). And I had to ask if the tooth fairy came and he said in a calm voice, "yep, left me a dollar". I put two under so had him check and sure enough one fell behind the bed. He is so much more calm in exciting events. He is cute and I love him so much. He has been working on his temper. He gets angry alot and we came up with a deal that if he doesn't yeel, push or through things then I scratch his back at bedtime (which he loves). It has worked about half the time. And yesterday he was about to push me and stopped. I was so proud of him!

Ellie is a Toddler

Ellie is now a toddler. She can do alot of the stuff Katie Billy and Johnny can. At least she tried to. She uses her words and can express herself very well. She doesn't throw as many fits as she used too which is very nice. Loves animals and ponys and barbies. She also likes Mickey Mouse and Blues Clues. She is also growing out of naps. Which isn't a bad thing. She has such a cute grin:)I am so greatful that she is a part of our family. She also tries to get her sister katie to help her get something if I tell her no or am busy. She is smart and I love her to death!

Back to life

We had a great two weeks with Todd home and also on our trip to Manti. Coming back and getting back in the hang of things was a little hard. Kids went back to school after three weeks. Katie was excited, Billy indiferent. The hardest thing was to get back into routine with FRG. There was so much to concentrate on in January. But got everything done needed too even if late. We went to Christian Ayala's birthday party and the kids had a blast. It was at Chucky Cheese. Saturdays have been our days to spend as a family. I have been trying to come up with fun things to do. We have gotten together with friends, gone to the zoo, went bowling,went hiking, and even went to McDonalds so the kids could play on the toys (it had started snowing hard and I had promised the kids something fun.) Johnny wants to go hiking everytime we go do something. He is cute. I love my family and lately have wanted to do more and spend more time witht them. They are such cute kids (most of the time:) They ask about when daddy is coming home alot more now. They say they miss him and I let them know that I miss him too. Todd tries to call every Saturday morning so we all get to talk to him. July couldn't come sooner!